Songs and trust (Post 5)

I love the song Oceans by Hillsong. After losing Owen we listened to it constantly. Hear it for yourself here... https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dy9nwe9_xzw

For months after hearing this song I thought about what the song meant to me. I prayed to God to give me the ability to go to Him. I'm so thankful that when we're weak, Jesus is there for us.... But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. 2 Corinthians 12:9. I must admit, part of my weakness is disbelief. Do I really believe that God has my back? Will He really provide good things for Jesse and I?

Throughout this past year and a half, I haven't doubted God's existence or His ability to make good of things. But I have felt WEAK! I've felt like a wet paper bag trudging my way through life. What helps is being confident that Jesus is holding our sweet babies right now. He loves them perfectly and we will one day hold them in our arms. Because Jesus died on the cross for my sins, I am offered forgiveness and eternity in Heaven with Him. We all are offered that. I can remember making the decision as a child to ask Jesus for His death to count for me. Salvation is simple. Jesus offers us a free gift and all we have to do it accept it.

Jesus is good, even if this world isn't. He doesn't create pain and sorrow. Our world is broken and that's why we need Him! Jesus didn't chose for our babies to die. I don't have the answers to my questions... I don't know why we aren't able to have our two babies on Earth with us now. But I do know that we will have eternity to love, hold, kiss and adore them!

After our second miscarriage I got another tattoo. I've found that my two tattoos have brought me some level of healing. My tattoo is a lyric from the song I spoke of above... "Spirit lead me where my trust is without borders". It reminds me that I can ask Jesus for his help!! I can trust Him in a BIG way!