Learning my ultimate need for Christ

Since becoming involved in our church, Xenos Christian Fellowship, here in Columbus my life has changed for the better. I'm so thankful for the people in our home church and have been really blessed. God has really been showing me how much I need Him. I'm the type of person that likes to-do-lists, feeling organized, and getting all of my ducks in a row. I still try to control things in my life in terms of goals, my chosen road map and each turn along the way. I've always known that God is in control but I've learned to TRUST that His plan is better than mine. It's easy to say, "I know God is in control and wants good things for me", but it's another to be able to REST in that and learn to truly rely on that truth in a practical, daily sort of way. I'm definitely still learning how to do this, and I'm sure I'll be learning this until the day I'm with the Lord but He's showing me more and more each day how to be confident in this.

I've found the most peace in this area when I focus on my ultimate need for Him. It seems counterintuitive but when I come to Him and am aware of how little control over things I really have, that's when He shows me that His plan and so much better than anything I could ever plan for myself and He gives me the most strength and peace. A recent example of this is the deposit for our new apartment. I really wanted to move out of our current apartment but I was hesitant to look for a new place because I was worried about coming up with money for another deposit. We stopped looking for a new apartment for a few weeks and just tried to be okay with where we are for now. During this time, I found out that I would be getting a bonus at work from the previous school year. Before this point, it was never clear when this bonus would be coming and I didn't have any idea how much it would be. Shortly after finding this out, we looked for an apartment. I found the posting on Sunday and by Tuesday we had seen the apartment, applied and got accepted. The best part was that the deposit ended up being the exact amount of my bonus. Some people might say that's a coincidence, but I chose to believe it was God showing me that He provides for us in practical ways! We're now moving in a couple weeks and I'm very thankful.

Moving away from Oregon was, and still is, a very difficult thing, but through that struggle God has drawn me closer to Him and shown me His love and dedication to me more than any other point of my life. I'm so thankful for our home church because it teaches the bible, love for each other, and God's grace. Once we admit our need for Jesus and ask him to be apart of our life, our name can never be erased from his book. We are His children forever and can never be seperated from Him.